When Your Clothes Do All the Talking
JoanKosmachuk.com
Have you ever been out socially with a friend who does all the talking for the both of you. Yes, you are there and you have a few things you’d like to say for yourself but they hog all the air time and you are left letting them speak on your behalf, hoping they won’t say something you’ll regret.
What you may not realize is that your outfit-of-the-day is just like that overbearing, oversharing friend. You had every intention of letting people know that you were “in charge” or “relevant” or “approachable” or “trustworthy” or “credible” or “single and available” or “put together”…but your outfit, which you sort of grabbed at the last minute without giving it much thought, had a whole other story to tell. And our clothes speak louder than our words. Or at best, they can send out confusing signals if they don’t align with our intended message.
Studies have shown that 93 percent of communication is “nonverbal” in nature. About 55% of that is visual. Now that takes into account everything a person sees when they encounter you. Your body language, the way you walk, your hair, make-up, facial features and voila, the outfit. When all of those are visually aligned with your message you will find communication to be clear and easy.
But if your dramatic coloring makes you less approachable, that’s something you’ll have to overcome right at the start. Or maybe your baby face belies your expertise, you’re going to have to dress in a way that sets you up for success. You do this, not by downplaying your strengths, but by tapping into them. Once you realize that your clothes can speak for you in a positive way, your outfits become that talkative friend who starts off the introductions for you.
You know what I’m saying is true. We’ve all been taken in by a wrong first impression, but you might prefer not to give much credence to this fact for yourself simply because it all feels like too much work. Who wants to have to think so much about getting dressed in the morning? Why can’t people just look past what you are wearing? It’s all so superficial.
Well, I won’t lie. Mindful dressing is a lot like mindful eating. It takes a lot more effort. For example, I want to eat healthy all of the time but I’m not a natural at it. If I haven’t planned ahead for those inevitable busy days/weeks when I have minimal time for cooking, I can easily gravitate to what’s “easy” and that isn’t always the best choice for my dietary goals. What helps me to overcome defaulting to those bad habits is to make sure I start with healthy ingredients in my cupboard and fridge. I have some tried and true go-to recipes at my fingertips that I know are easy to put together and it helps if I’ve done most of the prep ahead of time so it’s “just as easy” to throw together a healthy option as it is to grab junk food.
In the same way, when you make a decision to dress mindfully with intention, it’s key that you have the right clothing and accessories in your closet. You’ll have to watch when you go shopping and avoid all that fast fashion and those bad shopping habits in favor of more sustainable choices of clothing and accessories that you’ll wear again and again because they serve you and your lifestyle so well. Next it will take some careful outfit planning (determining those style recipes that are visually harmonious with you and that enhance your message —that show you at your best). And then lastly, on a day you have some time to play, you can put some great outfits together and snap photos of them. That way you can just flip through your personal look-book the night before, decide on the outfit that matches your intention for the next day, pull your pieces from your closet to make sure they are ready to wear and you’ll be able to throw on that pulled-together outfit in the morning just as fast as you got into your pajamas the night before.
If you need a bit of help knowing just what pieces you need in your closet, watch for the launch of my upcoming mini-course on “Building Your Wardrobe from the ground up” — we’ll be starting with a core foundational ingredient — your footwear.